Archive for May, 2016

Ten Days

sleeping babes

It’s when they’re sleeping that I can reset and once again see them as the beautiful, pure beings they are. In the quiet hours, the chaos subsides, and clarity returns. I have realized that this perspective is so important to me – mom looking down on sleeping babes. Even when I’m tired and dragging myself out from between their resting, snuggled bodies. Time alone is meaningful. Time with my husband is priceless. And time to fully appreciate my kids in this way is a necessity I hadn’t realized existed.Moving is utter insanity. Every single time I have moved, I have vowed to never do it again. Moving from Asheville to Raleigh, and then from a rental to our blue house, with a tiny Julian was crazy. As it turns out, moving with two small children isn’t any easier! They can unpack boxes as fast as I can pack them, and the teetering towers of cardboard and rubbermaid are just asking to be knocked over.

We have ten days left. And I’m pretty sure I need every moment of those ten days to prepare myself, logistically and emotionally, for this move. My patience is running thin, and I’m downing caffeine in amounts I haven’t consumed since college. I wish I could split myself in two – one of me can move, and the other can be in charge of helping my kids meet their beautiful and ever-present needs. I’m at the point where I’m wondering what on earth I did all day before I started packing and preparing. Suddenly, my life as a non-moving mama seems to be hovering in the distant, and oh so easy, past.

I have definitely plummeted full force into the logistical portion of this move. I am knee-deep in packing tape and bubble wrap, and it’s not until the sun goes down and the fireflies begin to illuminate my yard, that I remember I’m actually leaving this place. This beautiful home in which my daughter was born and my son remembers above any other. This amazing little yard that contains my bountiful fig tree and the worn paths my dogs have made while protecting us from the sweet neighbors. We have made many memories here. And we are leaving some very dear friends. And those facts won’t remain buried forever.

So, today (and tomorrow, and the next day…) I will continue to pack. And although it feels natural to me to move on hyper-drive, driven by a fear that there won’t be enough time, my hope is that I will be able to slow down, remain present, and soak in these last moments in Raleigh with my little family.

Ten days.



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family shot

Hello World. And happy Mother’s Day.

I’ve decided that it’s time for me to start writing again. I have no idea how often I will actually post, what type of topics I’ll explore, or who might actually be interested in reading my thoughts. My life is about to take a sharp turn off the course it has been on though, and I’m feeling compelled to document it in some way.

Most likely, I will not edit.

I want to remember the ordinary moments. The beautiful messes. The days that feel so long, and the ones that fly by as if they’re already memories. I want to leave verbal snap shots of life with my beautiful little ones, so that one day they can know what mothering felt like from my perspective.

If you’re interested, stay tuned.

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